


Please Don't

by Remnantofthelegacy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean - Freeform, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Sam - Freeform, Suicide, Supernatural - Freeform, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remnantofthelegacy/pseuds/Remnantofthelegacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The attempt to avert the Apocalypse has failed. Dean lost Sam to Lucifer , now all he has is Castiel an angel suffering without his powers. With the world in the crapper, maybe their profound bound will be enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of the End

*Night 1 Without Sam*

The door to a motel room somewhere in Detroit slams open and hits the back of the wall with a thud. It's dark in the room, but the porch light barely reveals a man about 6'1 in a leather jacket. His green eyes are red as he wobbles into the room, his right hand grips a small paper bag tightly. He closes the door behind him and uses the bag to flip on the light switch. Instantly, the room is lit up, too quickly for the man's liking so he covers his eyes. When he opens them the first thing he sees are the two beds. He ignores his own, which is neatly made and looks over to the other one. A satchel that used to belong to him when he was younger lies on the unmade bed untouched. As if he has been stabbed and his legs can no longer hold him anymore, he falls to the ground. The man, once strong and proud, doesn't bother getting up, instead he lays on the ground weaker than ever. He opens his mouth, but he chokes before he can say anything. Instead he mouths that one syllable word, the first word he yelled at the top of his lungs in hell. He remains there all night, crying until he falls asleep.  He knows he should get up and leave with the devil on the loose, but he doesn't. The man no longer has anything to lose.

A light comes from his jacket pocket. It belongs to the cell phone that will vibrate all night, but he is too tired to answer. He's too tired to even acknowledge it's existence.

 _Dean. Dean, please. I'm sorry for what happened to your brother, but you can't_   _do this to yourself again. Sam wouldn't approve of it. Please, just tell me where you are so I can go to your location. It isn't safe._

_Dean, it's me, Cas. Bobby is gone, he's dead, but I'm alive. I don't know how or why, all I know is I'm alone-_

_Dean, this will be my last message to you this evening. I can only assume the worst has happened to you in the time we last spoke or you prefer to be alone at this moment. I'll respect that, but at least let me know you are okay. Let me know._

_*_ Day 1 Without Sam*

The man now identified as Dean wakes up the next morning with his face stuck to the ground from his tears and an enormous headache. He gets off the ground ready to joke with his brother, but the moment he recognizes the silence in the house the memories flood back in. Again, his knees give way, but he grabs unto a chair for support. Dean again fights back tears. This went wrong. This went horribly wrong. 

"Sammy, you idiot," Dean lets out nearly regretting his words. His brother never should have said yes. He should have never let him do it, and now he's all alone. His worst fear has finally finished the journey and come to claim him. Satan jumped Sam's bones in Detroit just like he said he would. Cas and Bobby are dead all because he dragged them along to try and save his brother. He keeps his eyes closed tightly as he recalls those moments he lost his family. An image of that stupid dorky angel who fell for this idiotic cause exploding into a million pieces is almost too much for him. The crunching sound of Bobby's neck being snapped makes him cringe. He drags his hands along his face.  _Why?_

Dean gets up from the chair and goes over to Sam's bed, still untouched. He tries put a strong face, but for whom. He doesn't care if he's weak and it shows, but Sam would.  _Sam._ He reaches the bed in a few strides and leans over toward his brother's pillow. It isn't hard for him to believe his brother was in this same room yesterday, it's just hard for him to accept that he's gone, that he is really  _gone._ Dean picks up the pillow like it's a piece of glass, and he pats it down before hugging it tightly.

_Don't worry Deany. I'll be fine. I can fly._

_Sammy please be careful. That's a roof and you're five._

_Five and a half Dean. And I'm Superman. I can do it. You did it and you're Batman._

_Just be careful-SAM! Sammy it's gonna be alright okay._

_Ahhhhhhhh....Dean, my arm._

_Sammy look at me it's gonna be all right. You know I'll always protect you. I've got my bike, I can ride it to the hospital while you ride the handle bars._

_*sniff* Thanks Dean_

A tear makes it's way out of Dean's eye and falls on the pillow he is clutching. All he can smell is Sam, who for a hunter guy smelled like mint and lemons. It takes him a moment before he realizes that he's ruining the smell, he's losing the only pieces of Sam he has left. He places it back on the bed and moves over to the Sam's satchel. Inside lies a picture of both John Winchester and Mary Winchester. Dean takes notice that Mary's side is more faded than John's side. He never really got a chance to know her. Dean places the photo in his pocket before rummaging through the bag again. This time he takes out Sam's laptop.

The moment it reboots he moves the mouse across the desktop and toward the browser, but something else catches his eye. It's a folder marked with the words  _For Dean_. With interest in his mind he opens the folder. Immediately thousands of images flood the screen, all of them trying desperately to load. The slowness almost makes him laugh as he recalls bugging his brother to get a better computer, or at least one with a processor higher than 1.6 ghz. Dean then glances to the first file, a video one with a still of Sam waving at the camera. Dean inspects it to notice it was made two nights before they went to go ice the devil. He opens it.

The rest of the room falls silent, with the only noise coming from the computer. It still dark in here, and outside, but Dean doesn't really question what time it is. He's sure this is the earliest he has been up in ages. The screen for the first few seconds is black making him wonder if this even is a video or has he been tricked.

" _Cas, Cas can you get your face away from the camera. It's on now,"_ Dean lets out another tear. That's his brother talking, his real brother and not possessed by Lucifer.

 _"Oh, it is. My apologies Sam,"_   a deep gravely voice says as the man moves his face away from the camera. Dean laughs as another tear strolls down his face.  _Dammit Cas,_ he thinks.

Next, Sam pushes Castiel away revealing a scenery the boys grew up in. Dean can almost smell the stench of Bobby's home, the same home that was always open to these two. He can almost hear Bobby's complaining in the background and his wheels squeaking. Sam adjusts the camera, gives a nervous smile and waves before turning to Castiel who is still in the background.

" _No offense Cas, but can you leave please? I need some privacy,"_ He then turns toward an unseen figure, _" you too Bobby,"_

" _Fine ya' idgit, but pretty boy here is gonna have to roll me out of here with all the fancy wiring you've done all over my living room,"_ Another familiar voice says. Sam looks over to Cas who immediately walks out of the shot. Papers rustle in the background until Dean catches the image of Castiel pushing Bobby in his wheel chair into another room.

 _"Thanks guys,"_ Sam says before staring directly into the lens of the camera. He rubs his hands on his pants before speaking.

" _Hey Dean, it's uh me Sam, but you can see that. If you are watching this that means I've finally trusted you with my computer again or the worst has happened. I'm guessing the latter meaning I wasn't strong enough to uh face Lucifer, and that I've failed you. I'm sorry Dean. If it didn't work out, if our plans failed I'm sorry I failed you, but I need you to know I tried. I tried to fight him, and I didn't stop fighting him. I won't stop fighting him."_ Sam pauses and uses his hand to wipe his eyes.

_"I did this for you. I need you to know I did this so you wouldn't have to. All my life you've looked after me. All of my life. And now I need you to know that I'm the one thinking after you. You're my brother Dean, and I love you. Sure we may not get along all the time, but we are still family. We will always be family, and finally it's my time to thank you. It's my time to protect you because I can and I will. I'm sorry for the lies, I'm sorry for siding with Ruby, for everything, but this is my mess and I'm cleaning it up. And Dean... I forgive you. I forgive you and Dad and everyone. Yeah it hurt at times when you would call me freak, but I don't care. I love you bro."_

_"So you gotta do me one more favor okay. You gotta live not just survive. You have to promise you'll take care of yourself. Live a good life. Take care of Bobby and Cas for me okay. Make sure they are safe. And one more thing, if things don't work out with Ben and Lisa you always got Cas. I've seen the way you look at each other, heck I've been caught in the middle of it several times. It's uh...the same way I would look at Jess when she was alive, and the same way she would look at me. Don't be afraid to love him, cause he loves you,"_ Sam pauses for a moment as he hears footsteps rush to the doorway. He looks over to see Cas stick his head out of the door and he laughs wiping away another tear.

" _What?"_ Cas says.

 _"He just admitted your crush on his brother ya idgit. It's obvious you have a little school girl crush on him. Now get back in the kitchen and let Sam finish."_ Castiel leaves the frame. Dean pauses, staring at the screen. Sam knew, hell they all knew, but now wasn't the time to focus on love. His brother was gone, Cas was gone, Bobby was gone, nothing else was important.

" _You gotta protect them at all costs. Now, I've uploaded several photos of us and videos and audio clips I've taken over the years. If I'm alive, I'll delete it. If I'm not it's all yours. Take care of yourself Dean. It's not your fault. Love you big brother."_ Sam gets up to shut off the camera and the screen cuts to black. The room turned an unsettling dark and Dean was all alone. He could no longer see Sam's face. He could no longer see Cas blush, and he could no longer hear Bobby. Another tear. _  
_

Dean spends the next hour going through each photo in the album. Blushing, laughing, crying his way through. Some of the photos in there are stupid, and some he didn't even know existed. He then rewatches the video 3 more times before finally turning off the laptop. Somehow, he manages to drag himself off of the bed and back toward the table where Bobby sat yesterday. He could barely manage sitting anymore after being in that wheel chair for nearly a year. Dean spots his phone on the ground and picks it up. He doesn't notice the three messages left to him.

The first number he dials is Sams. It's a number so familiar to him. He waits while it rings, until he realizes that Sam had left his phone here. It is in his dufflebag ringing away. Finally it goes to voicemail.

_Hey it's Sam. Leave a message and I'll get back to you shortly._

He repeats the process, but this time with Bobby's phone number. He remembers burning it with Bobby's body. Immediately, it goes to voicemail.

_This is Bobby Singer. Leave your name, number, and problem at the tone._

Finally he calls Castiel. Surprisingly it rings, but no one answers.

 _I..I don't understand. Why do you want me to say my name?_   Dean laughs and closes the phone before he throws it against a wall. It lays on the ground for a few seconds before it begins to vibrate. Dean raises a look of confusion, but immediately rushes toward the device. He picks it up and answers the call, hoping he didn't damage the microphone.

"Hello?" he says cautiously.

"Hello Dean," the voice on the other end replies.

 

 

 

 


	2. Old Friends; New Habits

*Day 1 Without Sam cont.*

"Cas?" Dean says as his grip on the phone hardens. If this is a joke it's a messed up one.

"Yes, it's me. I'm alive." Dean doesn't waste time in asking questions. Instead, his mind races through the possibilities. It could be Cas. It could also be a monster, or a demon, or Lucifer coming to get him.

"Mackens Motel Room 3B," Dean says while he prepares the holy water and a salt round. In an instant, the familiar sound of wings flapping comes from behind him. He turns around, and acting upon instinct splashes holy water in the man's face before shooting a salt round. The man flinches at both before smiling, but his skin doesn't sizzle and neither does he disappear.

"Hello Dean," Castiel stands before Dean naked and now covered in holy water with a small wound in his arm. His hair, usually in a mess, is matted down from the holy water and almost gets in his eyes. He sways back and forth before falling and coughing up blood.

"Cas?" Dean says when he notices the holy water and salt didn't work. He is now more concerned than ever when he leans in to catch the angel before he falls. His wet bare skin sticks to the Winchesters. Again, the angel smiles before fainting. Dean has no idea what's going on or what is wrong with Castiel, but that doesn't stop him from caring. He drags him to his bed and places him on it, then he covers as much as he can with a towel. Seeing the angel naked was almost blush worthy, then again seeing anyone appear naked in a random manner behind you is embarrassing. Dean sits in the chair opposite the one Bobby used as he watches the man. This is the only thing he can do. He can't afford to turn on the TV or else he'd be tempted to watch the news, and he can't afford to take his eyes off of the one family he has or else that family may disappear too. He has to make sure he's okay, that he's real and safe.

As Cas sleeps, Dean takes a closer look at the angel. It's ironic how peaceful he looks in this given situation with the world going to hell and all. Actually, it's ironic how Cas always appears calm no matter what the given situation is. He's wounded, not from the gun shot, but from what looks like angel blade marks on his torso and on his arms. Fuck, he's still bleeding and the wounds aren't healing up. Dean gets up from his chair and starts rummaging through his duffle bag until he pulls out what he needs. He goes to the bathroom and gets some extra towels from the bathroom.

He carefully removes the towel that was covering part of Castiel's lower torso, which is now bloody and red. He replaces it with an old shirt of his so that it still covers his angelic parts but doesn't cover up the wound. Dean hovers his hand over the angel's mouth to feel the warm breath coming from him. It's slow and evenly paced; he's alive. His hands do the work he's been doing for years. Blanketed in towels, they carefully press unto the angels body soaking up the excess blood. Cas doesn't even flinch which makes Dean think he;s knocked out cold. The Winchester then pours a small amount of a strange liquid on the angels wounds. Instantly, they bubble up and a high pitched scream enters the room. Dean looks over to Cas now wide awake, pain tearing in his eyes.

"Hey, hey it's alright buddy. I'm just cleaning out your wounds." Cas looks confused for a second as he tries to hold back his screams, which soon come out as muffled whines. He scrunches up his face before his hand looks for the Winchester's arm. Dean reacts at that moment and moves closer, allowing the angel to grab on. He pours more of the liquid on and Cas jerks upward. His grip on the Winchester's arm only tightens to a painful degree for Dean that will most likely lead to a bruise, but he doesn't care. His breathe gets harder until ,finally, it evens out, and his hand loosens it's grip.

"Stay with me Cas. I'm almost done, just gotta wrap up your wounds but you gotta help me out here." He grabs the bandages and Cas tries to raise himself up. His injured arms tremble under his weight and only send more pain throughout his body. Dean puts his arm behind him for support.

"Here, hold this end. Dean passes the fabric to Castiel, whose fingers tremble violently. His eyes are wide until Dean places his hand on Castiel's good arm.

"Cas, look at me. It's me. I'm here, I'm real, and I won't hurt you," Cas shuts his eyes and a tear falls down. He then reopens them instantly and it appears his entire mood has changed. Instead of breaking down, he does the one thing he has been programmed to do. His expression hardens, he sits up straight, and he keeps himself aware of the world around him. He becomes stoic and soldier like once again. What the hell happened, Dean wonders the moment he sees this change, but he decides against asking right now and he gets back to work. The angel focuses on tracing Dean's every movements instead of the recent events. His eyes follow his hands finally the man runs out of bandage. Noticing the tightness around his chest he looks down to see several layers of white fabric covering his wounds. Again, he watches Dean perform the same task on his right arm and shoulder. That wasn't Sam. Sam would never hurt you, ever.

Dean finishes bandaging the angel's arm only to receive a quiet thank you from Cas. He makes sure they are tight before he again goes to his bag and pulls out a pair of jeans and a shirt. He hands them to Castiel, who winces as he gets up to change in the bathroom. He takes the shirt he was using to cover his crotch area in there with him without saying a word.

Imagine being torn into a million pieces in an instant. Imagine experiencing all this pain at once and then to have it suddenly disappear. Just close your eyes and imagine not existing for a moment. Imagine the silence, the darkness, the nothingness, the emptiness. Now, take a moment to think about being forcibly dragged back into this world with a memory of that brief non-existence. Think about going from nothing back to everything all at once. Would you be grateful, or would you be in utter despair at what you have just experienced. Would you cope, or would you collapse? Now, think about being torn into a million pieces over and over again by someone taking the form of your best friend someone you care about, just for their amusement.

That is the torture Lucifer put Castiel through during the time he was gone. He destroyed the angel, then put him together piece by piece. He watched as the angel slowly began to lose it, himself. He saw the fear in develop in Cas's eyes as he realized getting through to Sam was an impossible task. Then came the slashing of his vessel, torn apart piece by piece just for the heck of it. It was this constant torture that made Dean's hell look like a walk in the park, equal to 100 years even though it was only a day or so since lost control of his vessel. All of a sudden, as if some miracle the torture stopped, and he was returned back to Dean. He can still remember the words Lucifer whispered in his ears.

Cas looks at his face in the mirror. Exhaustion from the torture rests on his face, until suddenly the image changes. His face is bloody and torn, with his shirt plastered to his chest with blood. He looks around to see a small empty room, it's walls painted with a deep dark red. He struggles against his bindings and his breathing becomes heavier as the time passes by. Castiel is preparing to scream until he hears a steady pounding noise on the door. He can hear Dean's voice calling out to him, but it is not comforting. If Dean is here, then that means Lucifer has captured him too and he will be put under the same torture. No.

Suddenly, a figure with shoulder-length brown hair enters the room. He walks over to the angel and puts his hand on Castiel's bloody shoulder. Cas flinches immediately to the cold touch. Contrary popular belief, Lucifer always burnt cold not hot. He watches in horror as the man possessing Sam Winchester speaks to him in a calm tone.

"Hello brother. It's good to see you again. You know I feel bad for you. Working this hard to save the world only to have your plan fail before your very eyes. It almost worked too, Michael's true vessel interfering, but I managed to make Sam an obedient human." He pauses for a moment, with his eyes changing for a brief instant. Cas can catch a glimpse of Sam for a second. "Now calm down Sam. There's no point in fighting me. I have to admit, this vessel is a fighter, but that's nothing I can't contain. Anyway, I do feel bad for you. All alone in this world, well not yet anyway. That's why I'm going to do you a favor. I'm going to let you go, but not before we have a little fun,"

Dean Winchester kicks the door down to find Castiel frozen in his spot in front of the mirror. His whole body trembles with fear, as Dean comes to comfort him. He gently grips Cas's good arm and the angel flinches to the warm touch. He looks over to Dean who is more than concerned now. They look at each other for a few moments in silence, Castiel's blue eyes remaining on the comforting green of Dean's. He calms down. That was a memory, he assures himself, this is real. Or this is some dream, and that was real. He is blurring the lines of reality.

Dean helps Castiel sit down on the toilet seat cover before doing anything else. He grabs the shirt left on the counter of the sink and begins to dress Cas. The angel had managed to put his pants and underwear on before he completely lost it, before the memories began to slip in. Careful not to touch his wounds, he manages to get the white shirt on him. This is a different version of Castiel he has never seen. For the first time in forever, he is wearing informal clothing, and it actually suits him. It shows off his muscular frame that was usually covered by several layers of clothing and a bulky trench coat.

"Come on Cas," Dean says but the angel doesn't move. He remains frozen with fear in his spot, which manages to worry the Winchester even more. Something really bad must have happened while he was gone, but he isn't willing to ask about it. He realizes that Castiel will tell him about it when he wants to. Dean nudges him, and again he doesn't budge.

Without a second thought, he lifts Cas off the toilet seat and into his arms. "I guess I'll have to be your knight in shining armour," he says as he carries him out the bathroom. Castiel unfreezes and looks up at Dean who looks straight ahead. The Winchester can feel how cold the angel is, how unnaturally cold he is. He pulls him in a little bit closer before setting him on his bed. Cas sits up straight watching his every move as Dean undoes the covers he so carefully fixed before. He then places Castiel underneath the covers, before sitting on the bed next to him. Dean watches as the angel stares at the ceiling, blinking every few seconds until a tear rolls down his cheek. Cas begins shaking again, unable to block out the torture.

It is then that Dean does something unusual, but not foreign to his character. Without another word he gets up from the bed, goes to the other side, and gets underneath the covers. He brings his body closer to Cas and places a hand on his chest before moving the angel's head to his shoulder. Castiel stops shaking, much to the Winchester's satisfaction and leans further into Dean's warm body accepting the comfort. He squeezes his hand, not wanting to let go of reality once again.

"I'm here Cas. You're safe. We've got each other. We're safe," Dean's lip starts trembling. His words didn't come out the way he wanted them to, instead he sounded weak and defeated. He begins crying as he uses his other hand to caress Castiel's soft black hair. Cas squeezes his hand even tighter before repeating Dean's words. "I'm here Dean. You're safe. We've got each other. We're safe,"

They lie there for the next few hours, Cas falling asleep before Dean.


	3. And Then There Were Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, those are actual lines from the episode Swan Song. I do not own the show, nor do I own the episode or claim any rights to it. I just needed it for a dream sequence.

_"Hey, assbutt!" Dean hears before the angel possessing Adam disappears into flames. That should have been me; I should have been the vessel not Adam. Before he can think again he turns around to see his two best friends, his family. He looks over to Cas, the person who threw the Molotov Cocktail. This has either been the stupidest idea in his life or the best._

_"Assbutt?" The Winchester says in response. Castiel shrugs. He has only been on earth for a few years now and those words are foreign to him._

_"He'll be back-and upset- but you got your five minutes," Cas replies. He has saved Dean momentarily. For the first time since he made the choice to follow the Winchester in this path to save the world, he is scared. His actions can kill him, hell they will, and for a brief moment Castiel knows he has condemned himself to death. He looks over to Dean one more time and nods. Words he never got to say, words he never will say are stuck in his mind, but there isn't time and this isn't the place._

_Lucifer interrupts their eye contact,"Castiel. Did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?" The former angel takes a step back. He wants to run, he wants to fly away and hide, but his wings are clipped and he is all out of mojo. He tries to hide his fear, but it doesn't work._

_"Uh...no," he replies. This is it. This is the end. He won't be able to fight the war, and he won't be able to protect Dean Winchester. His mind races back to that one time Dean took him to a stripper club before they thought he would die. He remembers Dean's laugh and how they stood together in the face of Raphael. That's why he came back with Bobby, because Dean had taken the time to come with him when he had no one else and Dean Winchester would not die alone._

_"No one dicks with Michael but me." Lucifer raises his hand, and with a snap, Castiel is blown to pieces. Bobby stood behind him, instantly covered in the remains of the other man. Dean's eyes widen with fear as he looks over at the remains. **This can't be happening** , he thinks to himself.  **Not Cas. Not him. I got him killed.** The Winchester wants to yell, but he can't. He has to convince Sam to fight back or else all of this will be for nothing._

_Like the brave little soldier he is, he turns toward his brother, pain seared across his face like angel wings on the ground. He says, "Sammy can you hear me?" Unknown to him, his little brother can hear everything and see everything. He watched as he killed Castiel, the one angel that gave up everything for them, for him to succeed. He is hopeless fighting against a force as powerful as an archangel. **Dean** , he cries out in his mind. _

_He grabs Dean by his leather jacket. "You know...I tried to be nice...for Sammy's sake. But you...are such a pain...in my ass." He throws the righteous man into the air and at the Impala, causing the windshield to break underneath Dean's weight. Ready to attack, he leans over the Winchester, until he is shot in the back. He turns around to face the shooter who is no other than Bobby Singer. Like Castiel, he too has condemned himself to death, but he refuses to go down without a fight. He shoots the man possessing Sam once again; this time the bullet barely missing his heart. Sam screams inside his vessel, pleading with Bobby to continue to shoot, but of course his father can't hear him. Dean looks over at the old man who only shrugs in response. He takes a breath before Lucifer snaps his neck with a simple hand motion. Both Sam and Dean scream no in unison, but only one can be heard._

_"Yes," Lucifer says to the both of them. He pushes Sam back further into his mind, but this time he is still fighting back. **No more killing, no more death.** Sam watches as his own hands grab a hold of his brother's legs and drag him off of the Impala. He can feel his hand make contact with Dean's face, instantly breaking bones.  **Not him. Not my brother.**_

_"Sammy? Are you in there?" Dean says once again, unwilling to give up on the only family he's got left. Sam has lost all hope; he's lost and now Dean is going to die too. **Why do you keep on fighting for me? I...I don't understand, Dean why? You gave up on me so many times, why now?**_

_Lucifer reels in for another punch. "Oh, he's in here all right. And he's gonna feel the snap of your bones. Every. Single. One. We're gonna take our time." He punches Dean again and again, over and over breaking bones and popping vessels. The pain Dean is feeling is like no other. His face is burning even though his brother's hands are very cold. He can feel the blood gushing out and his nose is broken, but he hardly cares. This is Sammy. He will get to Sammy. He has no other choice and he doesn't care how long it will take._

_He spits out some blood before saying, "Sam, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you." He touches Sam's shoulder.Both he and Lucifer freeze. **Dean....I'm so sorry Dean. You.. you never really gave up on me did you. You always fought for me. You...you always cared. That's why you won't give up...and that's why I won't give up on you. It's gonna be okay. I promise big brother. I'm going to make you proud.**  Sam fights even harder, something Lucifer didn't expect. He didn't realize that through all this hate and hurt, there is so much love. Too much love. Love he and Michael never experienced. Sam catches a glimpse of the army man he put in the Impala so many years ago, and his mind races back to everything. He thinks about the laughs, their fun their sacrifices, and for a brief instant he has control over his vessel and his body._

_He lets go of Dean, who falls back before saying, "It's okay, Dean. It's going to be okay. I've got him." Fear runs through Sam. He knows there will be no end to the torture. He knows he'll be in hell forever, but at least he'll save his brother. At least he will save the world. Dean looks up at Sam, his face bloody and swollen. He is scared too, but more than anything he is proud. This is the man he practically raised since they were kids. He is the same man fate screwed in the ass and now he is winning against fate. He is winning._

_Sam reaches inside his pocket for the horsemen's rings. His fingers touch it, but before he can grab a hold of it, his hand freezes. **No.** Suddenly, he is paralyzed. He can feel Lucifer coming back, and he can't do anything._

_"I'm sorry Dean," Sammy says._

_"It's okay Sammy," Dean replies before Sam lets out a bloody curdling scream. He falls to the ground, and silence covers the area. They have lost. They have lost. Lucifer gets up and cracks his neck before smiling._

_"Nice try Sam, but you aren't good enough." Lucifer raises his hand and slams Dean into the Impala, instantly breaking his back. He walks over and grabs Dean by his hair as he writhes in pain._

_"Now, you are going to watch me win. Michael! Where are you brother?" In an instant, Michael appears and all hell breaks loose._

_Dean couldn't stop it. He couldn't do anything to stop it. He watched as his brother destroyed Adam and tore him apart piece by piece. He knew he would be next. He had a feeling he would be, but when Lucifer came up to him, and Dean closed his eyes preparing for the worst, the strangest thing happened. The angel touched Dean's forehead, instantly healing him. Dean looked back up._

_"I spared you. Remember that. I'll pray for you," Lucifer said before delivering another touch that knocked out Dean. "And you," he snapped his fingers and Castiel appeared, renewed and reborn. "You are coming with me," He snapped again and both of them were gone. And Dean was alone._

**_*Night 2 Without Sam*_ **

"I couldn't save him," Dean mumbles under his breathe,"he was so close." Dean's body is covered in sweat as he recalls the event in his sleep. He moves a bit, alerting the sleeping angel resting underneath his arm. Cas involuntarily leans further into Dean, nudging him with his soft hair. This works for a brief instant, the Winchester waking up for a few moments before falling back asleep and continuing the process.

Castiel opens one blue eye to look at Dean. He moves his hand to the spot where his hand print once scarred Dean's arm and places it there. Cas sends out calming thoughts through this connection, allowing the man some peace. This spot has always been an open connection between him and the Winchester. It's their profound bond even though it is no longer visible. "You can't save everyone my friend. Even though you try" he says. Dean moves closer to Cas.

"Mhhhhm, Cas," Dean says a few moments later to the now wide awake man, "You smell really, really terrible you need a shower." He smiles with his eyes still closed. Castiel just remains there akwardly.

"I would shower, but you are holding me and I didn't want to disturb you." he replies as he tries to get up. Dean refuses to let go.

"No, don't go. I didn't say I wanted you to go. I smell terrible too dude, yet you are dealing with me," Dean holds Cas even tighter in his arms. It doesn't matter whether or not he smells good or bad, he is just happy to have someone with him. After everything he lost, he's glad he has someone. He wouldn't know how he could make it, heck he doesn't know how he will make it.

The angel takes a whiff of the air before scrunching his nose up. "Barely," Dean laughs at Castiel, unsure whether or not the angel is purposefully being sassy or just being honest. He had come to understand that this was a part of his personality that he liked, no matter how confusing it could be. He playfully pushes Cas away from the bed.

"Fine, you know what? Go take a shower then. I'll wait here till you finish so I can stop stinkin' up the place even more." Cas tries to get up, but the pain from his wounds is too much. His knees cave in and he falls to the ground.

"Cas?" Dean says in a worried tone as he slides over to help lift the angel up. Castiel winces at the touch and Dean loosens his grip. "Hey take it easy buddy. You're still healing."

"You're the one who suggested getting up," he replies. Dean gets out of the bed to check on Cas's wounds. As guessed, the one on his arm has started to bleed once again.

He touches the bandage and Cas flinches again. "I'm gonna check your wounds before you get cleaned up okay?" he says. Castiel appreciates the fact that Dean is asking for permission to do these things. His caring nature comes out more during things like this. He would have made a fine doctor. Cas nods.

Dean carefully removes the bandage on the angel's lower torso to be greeted by a faint bright light. "Woah...." He's speechless.

"My apologies...that's my grace. I'll try to tone it down as much as I can. It's an angel blade wound," The light dims down, enough for Dean to get back to work, which he does. As his hands go to work, inspecting the wounds he makes conversation.

"So that's you. That, that light." he says while looking at a wound that is now nearly closed. It was much worse the day before, and Dean wonders how this is possible, until he realizes that maybe healing is different angels. When it comes down to it, he actually doesn't know that much about them either.

Cas sighs,"Yes, well that's what you humans see. This is just a vessel; I look nothing like this in heaven. In heaven, I am a seraph," He grunts as the Winchester hits a tender spot while removing on bandage on his lower left arm. 

"A seraph? Like that douche bag Zachariah? I thought you were just some regular angel," Castiel clenches his jaw and squints ahead.

"Careful what you say Dean. That is my family you speak of. Yes, Zachariah was a 'douche bag', but he was also my brother, and he is deceased." Dean instantly feels guilty. Often, too often, he forgets things like this. He forgets that the angels though seemingly emotionless, will fight for their own like any other species. They aren't just machines, they just have difficulty expressing themselves. He then recalls all the times he and Sam made snarky comments toward Castiel's brothers and sisters and how quiet he was during all of it. Insulting a person's family isn't something you should do, and Dean Winchester out of all people should know that.

He looks up at Cas, who continues to look at the wall. "I'm sorry. I forgot," he lets out before he looks back down to continue his work.

"I forgive you Dean. Anyway, I was a normal angel when we first met. My powers were limited to smaller things. Back then, I could only smite demons when I was focused, and sometimes I I couldn't at all when facing powerful demons like Alistair. Now, it should pose no problem . I am also able to bend time with little to no effort, unlike before. The healing process is quicker as you can see. Wounds like these would take at least about a weak to heal as a lower class angel, but now a day later I'm almost healed. I can remove your lungs if I wanted to, but I don't, so I won't. All the other powers I had before still exist, they're just more powerful." He replies. Again, Dean is dumbfounded.

"Wow. So you're a big shot now. When did all this happen?" he asks, a smile pressed against his face, "I mean last time we met you were practically powerless." Castiel's facial expression hardens. This isn't a topic he wishes to speak about, but he can't keep it bottled up. He has learned from the Winchesters how unhealthy it can be.

"When Lucifer resurrected me," he replies with hate in his tone. Dean's eyes widen. "He didn't grant me these powers. No angel, no matter how powerful can do that, rather it was the work of my father himself. I can only assume he did it to protect me against Lucifer and his...creative ways. It didn't really work as well as it should have, being that a seraph is nothing compared to being an archangel, but it protected me more than being a regular angel would have."

"God?" Dean questions why he chose to make an appearance after all hell broke loose. Shouldn't God care what happened to his creation and fight for it? Shouldn't he have stepped in when he had the chance, or does God just enjoy being a sadistic bastard.

Once again, the angel takes time to answer this question, much to Dean's irritation. How could his father do this? How could he have let this happen? How could he have been there under all their noses without any of them noticing. "Yes....I didn't see him, as per usual, it can only be of his work. He just did, how you would phrase, a pretty piss poor job once again. He let Sa-Lucifer torture me. He let your brother be overpowered. He's a sick son of a-"

Dean interrupts Cas, "Hey bud, that's enough. Calm down okay. We don't need you smiting up the place," Cas looks over toward Dean who has covered his eyes before he looks down at the bright light he let out without knowledge. He takes a few deep breathes, and the light dims down one again showing the outline of his wounds.

"My apologies. Controlling this new power isn't as simple as it seems." Dean finishes with inspecting the wounds leaving only the bloody arm bandaged once again. He helps Castiel up and into the bathroom before turning on the water for him. With the angel barely being able to stand up on his own, he realizes he might have to act as a crutch. He is about to exit the bathroom until the angel's voice stops him. At first it is his real voice, shaking the room and cracking the mirror, but then it turns into something he can understand. Cas looks down at the ground with a sheepish expression, embarrassed by his lack of control.

"I believe I will need your help. It causes me a great deal of pain to move my limbs," he says. Dean lets out a sigh. This would get more awkward then he thought possible.

"Wouldn't Jimmy mind me seeing him naked. I mean you're using his body," he jokes. The small bathroom becomes silent.

"Jimmy Novak is dead," the angel lets out. He recalls his last moments when even he could feel the fear build up from Jimmy. Jimmy, the same man who gave up his body and control to the heavenly host of heaven. The same man who gave up the remainder of his life to save that of his daughters; he is the same man who taught Castiel what true love is.

"Are you sure Cas?" The Winchester asks with a sad expression on his face. He actually liked Jimmy even though he only met him for a brief moment. He was a better father to his kids than his father ever was.

He nods. "It's all empty up here. Just me, myself, and I now. So will you help me?" he asks once again. Dean nods and helps strip Castiel of his clothing before placing his hand in the water. It's nice and warm compared to Cas's body which is still cold. He lowers the angel into the tub, keeping his eyes focused on the upper part of his body so he doesn't appear to be a pervert.

His body is a masterpiece like any other humans. Though damaged, it is beautiful, like any other humans. His frame is muscular, showing signs that Jimmy must have been a man who regularly worked out. His legs tell a tale that Jimmy was a runner, something Castiel barely does when he can teleport. Further up the body you'll meet eyes that can be considered the bluest blue to have ever blued. This set mimics Castiel's actions, piercing into the world and always curious. Even further up is Jimmy's rustled hair; it must have been so neat before he met the angel. The angels true form is quite different from his vessel. His true height matches that of the Chrysler building, with six large wings to cover his form, and four faces- a lion, an eagle, an ox, and of course his human face. Though these two forms are very intimidating, he considers himself both of these at the same time. This vessel has become his home, and it is was he would describe as part of him.

Dean leaves the room to get some soap, shampoo, a towel, and an extra luffa from his duffel bag before continuing on with the process. He is halfway through with washing Castiel's hair when a new question comes to him.

"You know Cas...I don't mind doing this, cause I used to have to do this for Sam when he was injured even though it  was it awkward, really awkward seeing your brother's  dang-a-lang hanging all out, but can't you just snap yourself clean. I mean, you have more power now." He looks up at Dean, who stops fiddling with Castiel's soft and dirty hair. The water in the tub is a different shade of red and brown as Dean washes the dirt away.

"I would, but I barely have control over my powers now, especially since the torture Lucifer put me through weakened me greatly," Dean freezes at this sentence. Sam...Lucifer tortured him. He looks back at the angel, sorrow is in his eyes.

 "You...you know that wasn't Sam right. Sam would never hurt you." he says, not only to comfort Cas but also to comfort himself.

"I know,"  
  


 

 


End file.
